Tour de Suede

Rain has delayed the start of the 3rd day of the Ashes at Edgbaston, so whilst the umpires perform their pitch inspection I will share the events of last month.

As you guessed I have become a cricket nerd. Fellow nerd Frenty and I have followed the game against the Aussies meticulously, the BBC is kind enough to broadcast online so we can follow it from work.. England actually has a shot at winning the little trophy this time, the Cricket Nerds United stand up and applaud.

I forgot to mention in the last episode that we saw a legendary role model in action whilst downing pints at builders. A man in tennis clothing walks in to the bar, gets a pint and enjoys a smoke. The boys are impressed with how he relaxes after a day of sports. When his wife pulls up in the car he quickly downs the pint and finishes his smoke. We realize that she is there to pick him up for going to the tennis game. Legendary preparation. 'Blast, if we are to play that boring Jones couple I will need a drink!'

After 10 sober and irrelevant days we geared up for the 1st annual Kings Road pub crawl. Starting at the Phoenix with a pint and a GT-icecream we scurried around the bars of Chelsea, including star bar the Pigs Ear. Neighbor to the bar is guitar legend Eric Clapton so a little air guitar outside his door was a must. We came half way through the crawl before we were lured to a home party that was so boring we left within two pints and went to a club. Great success.

As nobody following this blog cares what I do at work anyway let's skip to the next event; Tour de Suede;

Work was kind enough to pay for my ticket home so last week i got on the BA flight and did my best for adding to their red numbers during the flight to Sthlm. The plan was four days of debauchery in the capital followed by three days of rehab down South with the family.

Upon arrival the boys were on their toes and in notime we were at a restaurant feasting on meetballs and pints. The Rev had started to date a mother of two and got a fair bit of stick for handing her the keys to his flat. Since my move the boys have started to exercise way too much and have lost a scary amount of beer belly fat. At least Bagish sleeps with his PT which justifies the means a bit.

We toured on to Soap bar where Pepe and I found a set of twins, The Rev hooked up with his mother of two and the others got lost in the alcohol fumes. Pepe managed to get his girl to come home with us to his under construction flat which meant that I was sent off to the kitchen. Slept like a baby on a mattress. Viva Espana!

Day two we all paid a terrible price and the activities were reduced to eating a pizza, looking like white trash and vomiting in the evening.

Day three we were once more strong and took refuge to Director O / Sir Loin's place for a quiet evening. The additions of three cases of Heineken, Frenty's arrival plus some spicy Indian food led to binge drinking, ring of fire-chanting, and crashing at Sir Loins couch in the early morning.

Day four we geared up for a visit to legendary club Cliff Barnes, where we had dinner, pitchers of Mohito and danced at the tables in an orderly fashion. I remember playing a fantastic air guitar solo on a chair, seeing Bagish dance in the window and many trays of drinks. The rest is a blur to all of us. Fantastic night On the way home we successfully degraded Pepe's dreadful roundabout Moose.

Sunday meant 5 hours on a packed train. Very fortunately Bagish decided to tell his girlfriend that his mother was sick and joined me on the train. We spent the trip in the bistro eating, sweating, trying to remember the night before and picking on an innocent passenger for sweating so much. Bagisch fired away a silent killer that made the bistro cry blood. Probably some old Brie cheese in the bar we told the poor woman sitting next to us as she tried not to breath.

Rehab went well, managed to play a round of golf without loosing all the balls and my mind which was quite good considering the level of my game. Thanks family for the needed rest.

Now back in rainy LDN I have realized that my vocabulary gets an addition about once a week so I figured I'd share my newfounds with you. So here goes;

New word of the week; to skull - in Aussie slang this means 'down your drink in one!'

Reports from Sthlm came in last night; the level decreased even further as Diplomasen arrived, drank and entered the wrong door hissing at a cat inside the neighbors flat. Impressive.

Over and out

P